Lesson Three: If I Had What They Have, Then…
Let's Try Something Different Today
Imagine three women sitting together after Bible study.
One looks at the other and thinks:
“If I had her marriage, then I would be happy.”
The second woman looks across the room and thinks:
“If I had her confidence, then I could do something meaningful for God.”
The third woman scrolls through her phone later that evening and thinks:
“If I had their money, their family, their home, their opportunities… then my life would be so much easier.”
Three women.
Three different lives.
And each one believes somebody else has the missing piece to her happiness.
But here's what none of them knows:
The woman she is comparing herself to may be looking at someone else and thinking exactly the same thing.
Welcome to one of the quietest traps of our generation:
IF I HAD WHAT THEY HAVE…THEN I WOULD BE HAPPY.
The Comparison Test
Don't answer these out loud yet.
Just notice what happens inside your heart.
Which one touches you?
If I had more money, then…
If I looked younger, then…
If I were thinner or healthier, then…
If I had her marriage, then…
If my children were like their children, then…
If I had their education, then…
If I had more followers, recognition, or influence, then…
If my ministry were growing like theirs, then…
If I had their personality, then…
If I had their opportunities, then…
Did one of those sting a little?
Don't run from it.
That's probably where today's lesson needs to go.
Wait — Before You Compare
When you look at someone's life, you usually see what is visible.
You see the house.
God sees the mortgage and what happens behind the front door.
You see the marriage photograph.
God sees the conversations nobody hears.
You see the successful children.
God sees the mother's prayers and tears.
You see the beautiful body.
God sees the insecurity.
You see the ministry platform.
God sees the years of obedience that came before it.
You see the blessing.
You don't always see the battle.
Social media has made it possible to compare our ordinary Tuesday afternoon with somebody else's carefully chosen fifteen seconds.
And if we're not careful, we begin believing:
“God gave them something better than He gave me.”
That's no longer simply comparison.
That's beginning to question the goodness of the Giver.
Somebody in the Bible Did This Too
Meet Asaph.
He loved God.
He served God.
But Psalm 73 records something remarkably honest.
Asaph looked around at people who were prospering and began wondering:
“Why are they doing so well while I'm struggling?”
He admitted:
“For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.” — Psalm 73:3
That's refreshing honesty.
He didn't pretend:
“I'm a godly man. I never compare.”
He essentially said:
“I saw what they had, and I wanted it.”
And comparison began changing the way he interpreted his own life.
Eventually he even wondered whether his faithfulness had been worthwhile.
That's what comparison does.
It rarely stops at:
“I like what she has.”
Eventually it whispers:
“God, why didn't You give that to me?”
Then Something Changed
Asaph says:
“Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end.” — Psalm 73:17
Notice this carefully.
Their circumstances didn't change.
Asaph's circumstances didn't change.
His perspective changed.
He came back into God's presence and suddenly saw the bigger picture.
Later he could say:
“Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.” — Psalm 73:25
The man who began the Psalm looking sideways at everybody else ended it looking upward toward God.
That's the cure for comparison.
Not pretending other people don't have beautiful things.
Not convincing ourselves we don't want anything.
Not putting other people down so we can feel better.
We stop looking sideways long enough to look upward.
Let's Play the “What's in Your Hand?” Game
God once asked Moses a fascinating question:
“What is that in your hand?” — Exodus 4:2
Moses answered:
“A staff.”
Just a shepherd's staff.
Nothing impressive.
Nothing glamorous.
Nothing that looked powerful.
But God wasn't asking Moses:
“What does Pharaoh have?”
“What does somebody more talented have?”
He asked:
“What is in YOUR hand?”
So let's ask ourselves the same question.
What's Already in Your Hand?
Maybe you don't have someone else's money.
But do you have generosity?
Maybe you don't have someone else's education.
But do you have wisdom gained through experience?
Maybe you don't have a large ministry.
But is there one person you can encourage?
Maybe you don't have perfect health.
But do you still have something you can give today?
Maybe you aren't the most gifted speaker.
But can you listen?
Maybe you don't have a beautiful house.
But can you make the place you have welcoming?
Maybe you don't have somebody else's story.
But You Have Yours.
The question isn't:
“Why didn't God put what she has in my hands?”
The question is:
“Lord, what have You already put in mine?”
A Little Heart Experiment
For one minute, mentally remove everything you wish you had.
Don't think about what is missing.
Instead, name five things God has already entrusted to you.
1.
______________________________________________
2.
______________________________________________
3.
______________________________________________
4.
______________________________________________
5.
______________________________________________
Now look at that list.
You may have been asking God for someone else's five while overlooking your own.
From My Heart to Yours
There was a time when it would have been very easy to look at what other people had and compare.
Education.
Family support.
Security.
Opportunity.
A safe childhood.
Things that many people received naturally were not part of my beginning.
If comparison had become the ruler by which I measured my life, I could have spent years asking:
“Why did they receive that and I didn't?”
But eventually another question became much more important:
“Rachel, what has God placed in your hands?”
My story.
My survival.
My faith.
My experiences.
My voice.
The people God allows me to encourage.
The opportunities He gives me today.
I cannot serve God effectively while constantly wishing He had given me somebody else's life.
And neither can you.
The very thing you think makes your story less valuable may someday become the place from which you understand someone else's pain.
God doesn't need me to become somebody else.
He needs me surrendered as me.
— El Roi's Daughter — the God who sees me
Now Here's the Challenge
I'm going to give you two doors.
Choose one.
DOOR ONE
If I had what they have, then I could become who I'm supposed to be.
DOOR TWO
If God has already given me what I need for today's assignment, then I can begin with what is in my hands.
Which door have you been living behind?
Flip the If
Let's change our sentences.
Instead of:
If I had her gifts, then I could serve God.
Say:
If God gave me my gifts intentionally, then I will develop them.
Instead of:
If I had their money, then I could be generous.
Say:
If generosity begins in the heart, then I can give something today.
Instead of:
If my life looked like theirs, then I would be grateful.
Say:
If God has been faithful in my story, then I have something to thank Him for today.
Instead of:
If I were somebody else, then God could use me.
Say:
If God called me, then He already knew who He was calling.
Your 24-Hour Challenge
For the next 24 hours, catch yourself whenever you compare.
Every time you think:
“I wish I had…”
Don't finish the sentence.
Instead ask:
“God, what is in my hand?”
Then use something you already have.
Send the encouraging text.
Make the phone call.
Pray for somebody.
Use your gift.
Give what you can.
Share what you know.
Love the person in front of you.
Start where you are.
Comparison says, “Someday, when I have more.”
Faith says, “God, use what I have today.”
Before We Pray — One Last Question
What if the thing keeping you from your purpose isn't actually something you're missing?
What if you have simply been looking so long at what is in someone else's hands that you haven't noticed what God placed in yours?
Prayer
Father,
Forgive me for the times I have looked at someone else's blessings and questioned Your goodness toward me.
Forgive me when another person's beauty made me feel less beautiful.
When another person's success made me feel unsuccessful.
When another person's family made me question mine.
When another person's gifts made me overlook my own.
When another person's blessing made me forget everything You have already done.
Today, turn my eyes away from comparison.
Like Asaph, bring me back into Your presence until I can see clearly again.
And like Moses, help me hear You asking:
“What is that in your hand?”
Lord, here it is.
My story.
My gifts.
My weaknesses.
My experiences.
My resources.
My scars.
My opportunities.
My ordinary life.
I give them back to You.
Teach me to stop waiting for someone else's life before I begin living mine.
If You have placed something in my hands, then teach me to use it faithfully.
If You have called me, then give me courage to answer.
If You have blessed someone else, then help me celebrate them without diminishing what You are doing in me.
And if I forget, turn my eyes upward again.
Because ultimately, Lord, my greatest treasure isn't what is in her hands or even what is in mine.
My greatest treasure is You.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Take This Sentence With You
Tomorrow, when comparison whispers:
“If I had what they have, then…”
Don't finish it.
Ask instead:
“What has God already placed in my hands?”
Stop comparing.
Start noticing.
Start thanking.
Start using.
Because perhaps you don't need someone else's blessing to take your next step.
Perhaps you need to recognize the blessing God has already entrusted to you.
Walking with you in His grace — one step, one prayer, one surrendered heart at a time.
— Rachel Lim
El Roi's Daughter — the God who sees me